Tonight Will Be My Night
by dorkiss
Summary: Love and tragedy during senior year at PCA. Contains some alcohol, sex, and drug use. Mainly CxZ. COMPLETE.
1. Potion in Our Bottles

My first Zoey 101 fic. This is most definitely different than all the others. This was written for the older fans of the show. Alcohol, sex, and drug use will be mentioned in my story…

Tonight Will Be My Night

Chapter One

The large house was filled with the stench of cigarette smoke and alcohol. It was Friday night, and for all PCA seniors, that meant there was an off campus party somewhere that was calling their names. Usually, the house was owned by a student from the school whose parents only came home to check and see if it was still standing, or a vacation house on a cliff by the sea. No one cared which it was, however, as long as the beer pumping from the kegs was endless and the music loud.

Eighteen year-old Zoey giggled and stumbled through the living room, jumping on the coffee table with her friend Nicole. The deafening music pounded in their ears as they danced. People around them hardly took this tabletop dancing as anything wild. Everyone's blood was already seeping with tequila shots and beer, or, they were already passed out on the numerous couches and chairs. Among the dozing was Dana. Her claim to fame was the female champion of beer pong. Apparently, she had won her title again that night.

Nicole suddenly spun too fast and fell off the table. Her equilibrium was imbalanced and neither she, nor Zoey, could have caught her in time. She fell onto the couch next to Dana, and didn't bother to get back up. Zoey hated dancing by herself. She jumped off the table in a quite unsteady manner and proceeded to the screen doors. She passed Logan on the way out, who was chugging beer. She gave him a high five as she stepped onto the porch. Underage drinking was a way of life at PCA, and that kid could be the poster child.

The cool spring air felt good to Zoey. Inside it was hot and muggy, and you couldn't take a breath without inhaling smoke. This was her favorite time of the parties she went to. When she stepped outside, she was able to enjoy the effects of the alcohol on her body. She loved the way everything moved in slow motion when you turned you head, or how your body felt so completely free from any restraints. What she loved the most was that she had no worries when she was outside. She didn't have to worry about a vomiting Nicole or getting hit on by some sleazy guy. And, the best part, this was the time of the night when she would find Chase. Even after all the drinking and smoking, after the mingling with friends, acquaintances, and people who seemed like strangers, Chase and Zoey always found themselves together as parties died down.

The relationaship between Zoey and Chase was often confusing to outsiders, and just as confusing to their closest friends. The feelings they had for each other were undeniable. The two shared light kisses, meaningful hugs, and intense conversations only found between two people who cared deeply for each other. On any given day, they could be seen walking down the beach, Chase's arm draped over her shoulders, and the next they would be seen together with a group of friends without hints of something more. They never said they were dating, but that didn't mean that they wouldn't. Sometimes, even they didn't understand themselves, but they liked it better that way. All that mattered was they had found someone who made them feel whole, in the words that Zoey would one day tell her friends.

She saw him, sitting at a table with Michael and two other boys. This is where Chase would always be at parties. He could be found with a beer in one hand, and a blunt in the other. Chase wasn't much for hard alcohol; at least not in the way Zoey liked it. Chase had grown into a handsome boy and, thankfully, not nearly as spastic as he was when Zoey first met him. But he was still the most caring boy she knew. He wasn't lusted after as much as Logan was, but girls had most definitely taken notice of him. But he had eyes for only Zoey.

Chase was now looking at her adoringly, his eyes glazed over from the pot, as she woozily walked towards him. He opened his arms as she sat down on his lap and kissed him on the cheek.

"Had fun tonight?" She asked slowly.

"Yeah…but I bet not as much as you."

He offered her the blunt that they had been passing around, and she took the hit willingly. Michael and the two other boys, who had just handed Chase some money, were standing up from the table ready to go inside, or back to their dorms. Everybody knew to leave the two alone.

"You two can finish that off. If you want." Said Michael. Chase nodded and turned back to Zoey as they walked away.

Zoey leaned her head on his shoulder and curled his hair around her fingers.

"I heard Dana won Beer Pong again. How many people did she take on?"

"Oh…I can't even remember. Too many. Her and Nicole are passed out on a couch inside." She kissed his neck as he wrapped his arms tighter around her. He loved the way they showed affection. It was simple, but meant so much more.

"I'm gonna miss this." She whispered into his shirt. Graduation was a month away. "Like, these parties. It's not gonna be the same in college. Especially without you."

"I'll only be an hour away." His voice was soothing, and, as usual, made her feel better.

"I know." They sat there in silence as they melted into each other, and began breathing at the same pace, inhaling from the blunt occasionally. She whispered even more softly then before.

"What was the best part about these past years at PCA for you?"

"That's an easy one. You." She smiled up at him and he looked back at her, smiling too, his boyish grin making Zoey feel sad that it was almost over, but happy that she had a guy like Chase in her life. Inside, bodies began to fall upon open spaces on the couches and on the floor, the nights drinking putting the students into a deep sleep. Zoey and Chase fell asleep in each other's arms as the music inside was turned off by the last person awake, who more than likely passed out right by the stereo instead of climbing over all the bodies for a better spot.

Please review! I'll update soon.

dorkiss


	2. Taunting Me

Thanks for the reviews and all who may have read my story! Here's chapter two…

Tonight Will Be My Night

Chapter Two

The distant sound of waves crashing gently woke Zoey up the next morning. She loved waking up outside, where the air was cool and fresh. She felt a little groggy from the previous night's events, however, and found it hard to just quickly wake as she was usually prone to do. But she would rather wake up in the cool air on Chase's lap than in the comfort of a warm bed.

She turned to look at Chase, and found him still asleep. The light breeze was whipping through his hair, and Zoey noted just how peaceful he looked. Looking at her watch she saw that it was half past eight. She yawned and wondered if people had already left. Even though she didn't want to have to wake Chase, she knew that they would have to leave soon to get back to campus. She kissed him lightly on the nose and watched as his eyes slowly opened.

"Uhh…too bright…" said Chase, covering his eyes with his arm.

"Good morning Chase." Her playful tone made him peek one out from under his arm and smile at Zoey. He was always amused by the way Zoey acted after nights of drinking. She would giggle and talk to herself on the way back to campus at she looked out the car window remembering the night before. It was the little things about Zoey that made him care for her so deeply. He never ceased to amaze him.

She pulled him up from the seat, holding onto his hand to keep her balanced. They walked back inside the house and found many of the people up and awake, slowly looking for their bags and jackets. Michael, Logan, and Dana greeted them as they entered the kitchen, who were seated at the table. Nicole was helping the host of last night's party, a boy named Kenny Vasser, rinse out beer bottles and clean the kitchen.

"Hey guys. Zoey and I are gonna head out soon, any of you need a ride?" Logan and Michael reluctantly shook their heads, and Dana, who was concentrating on eating her toast, didn't answer at all.

"We had a great time, man." Chase said, waving to Kenny. Zoey nodded her head in agreement.

"Awesome," replied Kenny, handing another cup for Nicole to dry, "I'll see you guys in history Monday."

Zoey, who was still holding onto Chase's hand, followed him out the front door and across the lawn to his car.

"Do you wanna head to the beach instead of back to our dorms? We could get some chocolate chip pancakes at Captain Jacks."

"That sounds perfect."

Walking on the beach was one of Zoey and Chase's favorite things to do together. Often times, especially when they went in the mornings, they would each find a beautiful seashell to give to each other. They had done this so many times in the past years that there was a box under both their beds overflowing with shells, each one a preserving a special memory.

Today, however, they sat on the beach, limbs entangled. Today was different for them, and they were still trying to figure out why. The chocolate chip pancakes and freshly squeezed orange juice tasted better than usual. The sand on the beach felt softer and the sun was just bright enough for the perfect beautiful day. Everything was wonderful. As they sat overlooking the ocean, Zoey began to think. Maybe the pancakes and juice were the same as always, and the sand and sun seemed perfect for another reason. Maybe all the other things apart of their morning hadn't changed at all. It was as it had always been, but today it was different because Zoey and Chase were different. As the two "just-friends" who seemed so much more than that sat entangled in one another, the feelings inside them were changing.

Zoey was scared. Chase was the kind of guy that any girl would be lucky to be loved by, and even to be friends with. She was friends with, but she wasn't so sure about the first part anymore. Chase had matured a while ago, and along with it was his boyish crush on Zoey. She believed that they had gotten over that awkward part of their lives, and that was the reason why her relationship, be it whatever she or anybody else thought it was, was so strong. In the past years, Zoey had dated other guys, but at the end of the night, she would always leave her date wondering what Chase had that he didn't. It was the same for Chase. Girls envied Zoey for being the only girl Chase would ever get close to, _"and they're only friends! Why's it matter?"_ ,Zoey would hear from other girls. _"Whatever," _a friends would reply, _"let's just hope they get together for real soon." _It had never crossed her mind since she turned 15 that Chase would be any more than a close friend. But now, as she sat on the beach in his arms, she began to see what every other girl, and boy, at PCA saw.

The girls sat around a table that day for lunch. Quinn, who hardly ever went to parties, laughed as Dana and Nicole told humorous stories from the previous night. But these stories drifted away from Zoey. She was lost in thoughts of Chase. She didn't understand how you can wake up one morning, and feel completely different. She was eventually pulled from her thoughts by the call of her name.

"Hey! Earth to Zoey!" screamed Dana.

"…What?" She was a little angry that she had taken her from her thoughts. She had _so_ much to think about.

"Nicole said Logan took a picture of you last night…all cuddled up on Chase's lap! Is that true?" asked Quinn, looking like she would be ever so pleased to know the truth from her Zoey herself.

"You guys really gotta stop getting so close all the time. I believe you when you tell us that your still friends," Nicole said quickly, "but if you keep acting like this, I may not believe you any more." Zoey stared at her as Nicole chewed her salad, speechless. "I know there's something more than friendship, Zo, the picture will be proof enough for me. I don't know why you keep telling your self there isn't."

Her cheeks flushed at the thought of actually being more to Chase than friends. There would be kissing, she realized, _real_ kissing. She heard The loudening "Oo's" around her and tried to think of something beside kissing Chase. How would she ever figure this one out?

Please review! Expect chapter three soon!

dorkiss


	3. I Always Loved You

Sorry about the wait. I was on vacation and had no time to write. Thanks to the counts four people who have reviewed my story so far, it means a lot to me that you enjoy it. I know a bunch of people have read my story and haven't reviewed…. don't be scared! I want to know what you think! Anyway, on with the story…

Tonight Will Be My Night

Chapter Three

It was Friday afternoon and Chase sat at his desk, staring at his completed history paper. Normally, he would be staying up late Sunday night finishing any type of homework, but with so many things going through his head, he needed something to focus on. Now that he was finished, he could think again. Not that he wanted to. His life had been changing dramatically the past week. More specifically, his relationship with Zoey.

Maybe it was because graduation was less than a month away now, and the life they knew at PCA would be over. Soon, they would all leave for college, a thought that scared Chase, but made him anxious as well. Maybe the near changes were making Zoey act different. Her actions were so confusing.

Tuesday night they had been eating Chinese food on the floor in his room watching a movie. They acted as friends would, sharing food and laughing at the movie at all the right moments. However, during the movie, after they had eaten all the dumplings and sesame chicken they could hold, his head had found itself in her lap. She touched his hair the way she usually does after a few shots of vodka at a party. _She's never done this sober_, he noted. It was a more intimate feeling. He could hardly understand it himself, but the feel of fingers running through his hair wasn't the playful touching he was used to. There was something more. Chase knew that Zoey would never normally act this way without her blood running with alcohol. The next day she acted hardly talked to him, she had hardly talked to anyone, he realized. Zoey had something important on her mind. She had left Chase in confusion for the rest of the week. He could tell that they were changing. Before, they had been the closets of friends. But even through the past few years, he never really stopped loving her. Chase couldn't sort out his thoughts at all, and that, more than anything else, was bothering him because this seemed very important to figure out.

Tonight, as usual, was another party. The last one before the big graduation party at the very end of the year. Chase would talk to her then.

In Chase's mind, all the parties were the same. The only thing that ever changed was the house. The people acted the same, drank the same, and even vomited the same. But he still came. He realized that night why. He liked the monotony. However, looking around the kitchen, he could tell that tonight wasn't going to be like the other nights.

People were gathered around the kitchen counters pouring their shots. Usually, Zoey would be next to Nicole and Dana with her favorite shotglass, which she had once called her best friend, but tonight, she sat at the kitchen table with Chase, sharing a beer. Tonight was different, just as the week had been. He wanted to talk to her, but hadn't the faintest idea where to start. The silence wasn't awkward, he noticed. That made him feel better. He had planned to talk to her, but he couldn't find the right words to explain his feelings. _Maybe I can just sit here the rest of night. _He suddenly felt her hand on his.

"I want to always be with you, Chase." Her soft eyes looked right at him, and he knew she meant it. A smile found it's way across his face. Chase wanted to tell her he loved her and kiss her in front of everyone, he knew they all expected it. But before he had any time to find the right words, they were interrupted.

"Hey Chase! Zoey!" screamed Logan, slamming himself in a seat across from them. "We're all headed outside. You coming?"

They followed Logan to the back porch, where they saw Nicole, Dana, and Quinn forming a circle as Michael lit a blunt, taking a hit.

"Quinn! What are you doing here!" screeched Zoey as she ran up and hugged her.

"I though I'd make an appearance to the last party. Besides, the girl who lives here invited me, and I thought it would be rude to reject her."

They all sat together. The group of friends all looked around at each other. For the past six years they had been together. At first, the friendships they had forged were just friendly, but now, Logan could be seen with Quinn in the campus café 9having ditched his jock friends), talking and laughing over hot apple cider as she tried to explain her next and newest experiment. Quinn had seemed so random in their group of friends, but here she was with the rest of them, the blunt lighting up her face with a soft orange glow. The seven kids were inseparable. Sitting in the circle, Chase could tell that they were all thinking the same thing. _I will never have friends like this again_.

They began to talk about memories. The funniest (when Logan burnt off some hair in the chemistry lab and it took him two months to grow it back. The look on his face every morning, according to Chase and Michael, was indescribable), the saddest (When Dana left for one year. They had spent the first week of school moping around campus), and the best, which varied from person to person.

"What about you, Chase? What's the best memory you have from PCA?" asked Zoey, as she inhaled and passed it to Chase, holding it in her mouth and lungs. As he looked at her, he couldn't contain himself any longer. There was only one thing to do. "I don't think it's happened yet." He took a hit and before he could think twice, he kissed her, and she kissed back. They were oblivious to Logan's whooping and Nicole's squeal. He barley noticed the flash of a camera as they parted their mouths, the smoke rising gently from their lips. All he could think about was how breathtaking her lips felt upon his. Without having to think, he broke the kiss, grabbed her hand, and together, they moved their way through the mass of people and left the party.

The cloudless night sky was filled with bright shining stars. Chase couldn't help but look over at Zoey as they drove the windy road along the beach back to his dorm. The light of the sparkling stars illuminated her skin in a soft blue and her hair was whipping delicately around her face. The air was warm, but the wind refreshingly cool. The perfection of the night was exactly the way that Chase was feeling inside.

His room was dark as they entered. He turned on a dim light and shyly turned to face Zoey, scratching the back of his head. She kissed him lightly on the lips and entered the room, closing the door behind her.

"Zoey…" She turned and looked him. He took a deep breath. "I've been racking my brain all week trying to find the perfect thing to say to you, but nothing seemed right until tonight. I guess all I can really say," she gazed upon him with hungering eyes, walking slowly towards him, "is that, I love you. I always have and," he wrapped his arms around her, "I always will."

She kissed him, this time with more passion. They kissed like it was the only way to survive, and Chase thought; _I'll never be able to survive another day without her kiss_.

They laid down on his bed without breaking the kiss. His hands traveled down her sides as her hands lifted the shirt off his back. He began to unbutton her blouse, softly kissing her neck and chest. The feeling of their bodies pressed together was hard to explain, and the touch of her hands on his back indescribable, but through this show of love Chase was beginning to feel complete. He unbuttoned her skirt, kissing her stomach. Zoey giggled lightly as Chase glanced up at her. She was perfect in every way. He even thought her faults were perfect. In all seriousness, he had always told her that her "corn chip" toenail was beautiful. She always thought he was joking, but Chase loved everything about her, Snack look-alike toenails included.

He moved back to her lips, kicking off his own pants. He knew they were about to take a big step quickly, but neither of them wanted to stop. They had gone years trying to suppress a love so powerful that even as friends, people smiled because they saw a bond beyond friendship. They were stronger together than they were apart. Chase was exploding on the inside. He had loved her for so long, and he had fooled himself to think that he could be just friends with her. But no more did he have to hide. He was in love. Chase flipped them so that Zoey now straddled him, breaking the kiss. She looked at him. He could feel that she wasn't just looking at his eyes; he was looking into his soul, and into his heart.

"I love you, Chase." Her voice was quiet and tender, and he could tell that she was feeling the same way he was. They had shared three that had been kept tightly inside them for much to long. Bending down she kissed him once again, his hands brushing through her blonde hair. Inside, their bodies filled with sparkling stars and an ocean breeze. After so many years of wondering, Chase and Zoey found their answer. They would always be together.

Still not the end! I have more to write about. Expect at least two more chapters, but maybe three. Please review!

dorkiss


	4. The Middle of the Night

Hey everyone! I just started college this week, so that's the reason for the wait. I wrote this late the past two nights and am quite content with my new chapter. Hope you are too!

Tonight Will Be My Night

Chapter Four

Zoey woke up the next moring in a daze. She glanced nervously around the room as she became completely awake. And to her happiness, Logan and Michael were both absent from their beds. She turned over to face Chase and found him sleeping the same way she often found him after parties. But now the feelings inside her felt so different.

She was surprised that it had taken her so quickly to realize that she had loved Chase all along. And now, as she looked lovingly upon his sleeping face, gently running her fingers through his hair, she wished that she had realized it sooner. With the school year almost over and a short summer before college near, her time with Chase was limited. And she regretted her foolishness and ignorance. But now, she imagined with a smirk, they had so much catching up to do that the next few months would be quite fun for the new couple. Especially after last night's events.

Chase moved slightly in his sleep. Zoey leaned closer to him and softly kissed his jaw line, which caused Chase to make a little noise from the back of his throat. In his sleep, Chase subconsciously pulled their naked bodies closer together. She giggled lightly as she placed her head on his chest. She listened intently to his heartbeat for a few moments before being unable to let him sleep any more. She kissed him fullon the lips.

Chase was now fully awake and took the opportunity to continue kissing Zoey. She loved when he kissed her. She could hardly understand why his kisses affected her so strongly. Never before had any kiss she's received made her feel quite the way Chase's did. But then again, she had never been in love.

As they laid in each other's arms and afew moment later, Zoey began to think about love. She tried to explain it to herself in her mind, explain the power and control that it now had on her, but it seemed impossible. But she knew that she was a different, a better person even, because she loved and was loved.

They laid in his bed for another hour or so, basking in the warmth of their bodies. Zoey was completely happy. By the time it was 10:00, however, he thought that maybe it would be a good idea to let Michael and Logan come back to their room. And sure enough, after getting dressed, they past he two very tired and very hung-over boys in the hallway. Zoey was so happy, in fact, that she didn't care to make a snide remark to Logan when he winked at Chase as they passed.

The sun was shining just as it always does in California, but today Zoey felt the rays on her skin as a person who had never experienced the light of the sun before. The wonderful and cleansing feeling of the warm sun washed over her body and she leaned closer to Chase.

They approached a table in the courtyard where a very delighted looking Nicole sat with an equally delighted Dana and Quinn. Zoey knew that she would eventually have to talk with them and tell them everything about the previous night, but now, of course, was not the time.

"Hey guys," said Chase and he sat on the bench, "What's up?"

"Lot's of stuff, I guess." said Dana boringly, quickly changing her face. "But we should be asking you the same question. And _don't_ say nothing." Her demanding eyes looked right at them, and Zoey began to feel a little uncomfortable. But just as quickly as her expression had changed from delighted to bored, it became delighted again.

"Just kidding! So…The whole school's talking about you guys."

"What!" exclaimed Zoey. "Why?"

"Everyone saw you two leave the party together last night," stated Quinn. "And, since this is high school and everything, word gets around." Noticing the worried look on both of their faces, Nicole finally jumped in.

"But don't worry, guys. Everyone's really happy for you. You have no idea how long our class had been waiting for you to get together."

"They've been waiting? How long?" Chase asked, leaning his elbows on the table.

"Since our first year." She stated, matter-of-factly.

Both Chase and Zoey were surprised by this news, but pleasantly surprised, in a weird way.

"Look, we'll see you guys later. We want to get together for dinner tonight, hopefully order out from that seafood place ten minutes from here. But Zoey," whispered Nicole, even though Chase could still hear, "we want to talk to you later. You know, just the girls?"

"Yeah," answered Zoey, smiling at the look of confusion on Chase's face, "We'll definitely talk later." Zoey winked at her before she ran after Dana and Quinn.

"It's kind of weird that people have been waiting for us to get together. Don't you think?" asked Chase.

"I guess…Hey Chase?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I took so long to figure out that I loved you. I feel like we wasted so much time just being friends."

"Look, Zoey. I would never trade the friendship that we had for anything in the world. You don't have to apologize. I was happy being your friend and you were happy being mine. And we're together now…"

"I meant what I said last night, Chase. I do want to be with you forever." He smiled at her as he placed his forehead against hers.

"You will be." They kissed lightly, unaware of all the faces that had turned to look in their direction, before eating their lunch. Zoey knew that Chase would never lie to her, and she quickly felt better. All that mattered was that they loved each other. Nothing else could prevent that.

The new couple spent the entire weekend together, not that that was abnormal for them. Even when they weren't dating, Zoey and Chase spent much of their time together. But now she enjoyed his company even more. The touch of his hand as they walked on the beach after a good dinner (and an exhausting conversation with the girls on Zoey's part) was welcomed in a different way than it had been before. Even through the light touch she could feel more passion and love between them than ever before. She loved how they laid on in the sand and looked up at the same stars that they had looked at the night before. It was comforting to know that they would always be there, just like Chase would be. They walked at the edge of the ocean with their shoes held in their hands. Chase carried Zoey on his back all the way to her room where he kissed her goodnight and told he loved her for the thousandth time that day. The next day came with similar events. Zoey and Chase didn't need extravagant events to be content, just each other.

Sunday night Zoey sat at her laptop, just beginning to type the history paper that she had been procrastinating for weeks. It was due tomorrow morning and she quickly regretted putting it off for so long. Instead of spending time with Chase and the others, she was stuck in her room. Her phone rang from it's place on her desk.

"Hey Zo."

"Hey Chase!" She answered, a smiling quickly finding its way to her face.

"I'm going out to return some videos. Do you want me to get you anything? A coffee perhaps? I know how boring the paper is to write."

"Yeah, that'd be perfect. Can you get me some McDonald's fries, too? I've been craving them all day."

"Sure. I'll drop it by when I get back. Love you."

"Thanks Chase. I love you too."

It wasn't long until Zoey suddenly felt weird. It was like something important was happening and she wasn't apart. _'Probably because everyone's out without me. This sucks. I can't wait to graduate.'_

A few minutes later the door swung open so fast that Zoey jumped in her seat. IN walked all her friends. Nicole, Dana, and Quinn all looked very shaken up, and their eyes were red with tears. Michael and Logan looked grim as well.

"Guys, what's going on? Why are you guys crying?" Zoey felt worried. Something wasn't right. Michael was the first one to speak.

"Zoey…it's…"

"It's what! What's wrong?" Her heart was beating fast in her chest. Her hand began to shake.

"It's Chase." Tears slowly began to form in her eyes. She looked Michael straight at Michael. "He was driving to the store, and a drunk driver came speeding around a corner through a red light." Her heart stopped. "He hit Chase into the trees…" He paused.

"He's going to be okay though. Right? Chase is going to be okay?" Her voice was cracking as Michael and Logan let tears of their own fall. He slowly shook his head.

"He died on impact, Zoey."

The world stopped and the next thing Zoey knew was darkness and a numb feeling as her body hit the ground. She could hardly hear the cries around her or feel Logan's arms as he picked her up and put her on her bed. She felt nothing.

Review please! It's the only way to let me know what you think.

dorkiss


	5. I'll Be Wishing

Here's chapter 5! I hope you like it…I really do. Don't forget to review!

Tonight Will Be My Night

Chapter Five

Zoey's eyes fluttered open the next afternoon to a rainy California sky. Her clock read 12:30. It was strange for her to sleep so late, and she wondered why she had stayed in bed. And now that she thought about, she didn't even remember getting into the bed. She was surprised to feel that she was still wearing her jeans and shirt from the day before. _'What happened?'_

Zoey turned to her side and saw the picture of her and Chase, their arms wrapped tightly around one another. That's when it hit her. She sat up quickly in her bed, the conversation from the previous night finding itself back into her memory.

"_It's Chase. He was driving to the store, and a drunk driver came speeding around a corner through a red light."_ Her heart began to beat quickly, as it had the night before. _"He died on impact, Zoey."_

"No! It's not true!" She screamed as her eyes swelled with tears. She began choking on her tears as she attempted to convince herself that it hadn't really happened. But she couldn't. She remembered clearly now the bleak faces of her dearest friends as they entered the room. She could now recall the trepidation in the Michael's voice as he tried to tell her the tragic news…and then it went blank.

The sudden pain that Zoey felt pulsated through her body in a terrifying way. Her whole body shook as she let her tears fall all at once. Not only was Zoey experiencing emotional heart break, but her body also began to feel weaker. She grabbed the photo of her and chase and clutched it to her chest, gasping for air as she tried to calm herself down.

The door of the room opened and in walked Nicole and Dana, surprised to see Zoey awake.

"Zoey…" said Nicole cautiously.

The look that Zoey had on her face as she looked to Nicole and Dana brought tears to both their eyes. Never before had they seen a person so worn out and lost. She looked as though she herself had died. And that, more than anything else, was what made Nicole and Dana cry. They knew that Zoey would be with Chase no matter what. It had never occurred to them that her life was Chase, and with him gone, she believed she had little to live for.

"Tell me it's not true…Please. It can't be true…" Zoey cried softly and pleadingly as Nicole and Dana slowly sat on her bed, reaching to hold her hands. They didn't know what to say. They opened their mouths, but said nothing. For once, they were both at a loss for words. Zoey looked at them, newly shed tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I can't live without him. I don't want to. What am I…?" Her weeping voice gave way as she began to break down. The tears never stopped.

"You have to keep living your life, Zoey." replied Dana. "You have so much to live for. And you have such a promising future…Chase wouldn't want you to give up everything." Zoey couldn't take it anymore. How could she live without him?

"No! You don't understand! I'm nothing without him…"

"Zoey, I know you're hurting." said Nicole, trying to make her friend feel better.

"No, you don't understand!" screamed Zoey. "You don't know what it's like to be in love. He made me feel whole! I am who I am because I had him. Because…Chase…loved me." His name was hard for her to say, but afterwards she felt completely helpless.

"Chase…" Nicole and Dana watched Zoey as she fell back onto her pillow curling her tear streaked face in her knees, knowing full well that they were unable to help.

"We're here. If you need us." whispered Nicole.

Zoey spent the rest of the day lying in her bed, staring out into the rainy sky through her window. Her history paper stayed untouched on the screen of her laptop from a sad attempt to take her mind of Chase. She couldn't concentrate. But she also know knew that she wasn't trying. She didn't want to stop thinking about Chase.

Nicole had tried to make Zoey come to dinner that night, but she refused. She sat on her bead, eating a cereal bard, the only thing she felt like she could stomach, when she heard a knock on her door. She wondered who it could be as she slowly stood up and opened the door.

There were two people, a man and a woman, who were much older than she was. The man had brown hair and was slightly balding. The lady had curly light brown hair and a very beautiful face. Zoey had met them before. They were Chase's parents.

"Hello, Zoey." Said Mr. Matthews

"Hi." She didn't really know how to respond, or what she should say.

"We wanted to talk to you, Zoey. We know how much Chase loved you…" said Mrs. Matthews as she bit her bottom lip to prevent tears. Zoey found herself crying again despite the fact that she wanted to stay strong in front of them. She felt as though she had no right acting more devastated that his parents.

"Oh, Zoey." Mrs. Mattews pulled her into a hug. She had always treated her as her own daughter. Zoey sobbed into her yellow button-up shirt.

"I just don't know what I'll do without him…" Zoey began to feel better as Mrs. Matthews held onto her, stroking her hair and telling her it will be okay. She needed the reassurance from an adult, but more importantly, from someone who was probably in more pain that she could imagine. Zoey felt as though crying with Chase's parents was the first step to mending her breaking heart.

Chase was important to her friends, too. She knew that. The way they all looked when Michael told her the news was enough evidence to show her that Chase was one of a kind. But what did they know about loving him? And not just love, because for Zoey, that didn't even begin to explain the way she felt towards Chase. She needed him. She had always needed him.

Zoey needed Chase for more than just his love. She needed him to support her like he always had, to make her laugh when nothing was funny. Zoey needed him to talk to. She needed him to collect shells with her and create beautiful sandcastles only to have the ocean swallow them up as they sat together watching the sun set. Zoey needed him to make her feel better when she was homesick. She needed Chase to remind her that life is always worth the trouble. He understood her. He knew her flaws and loved her still the same. Zoey found it incredibly hard to imagine her life without Chase. Who now could ever make Zoey feel the same happiness that Chase had brought into her life?

Four days later the sun was shining above a large crowd of people. They all stood closely together. Students and faculty gathered with family members and friends from home. The grass they stood on was still a little soggy, but they paid no attention to their sinking and muddy shoes. All eyes were on Zoey.

Through all the years that the PCA students and faculty had known Zoey Brooks (and who didn't), they had never seen look so vulnerable. But they stood in awe as she took a deep breath and found a sudden courage within her. She began to speak to a crowd of over two hundred.

"I don't know how many of you actually knew Chase personally, but I know that everyone here today has a memory of him. Maybe you remember him as a clumsy sushi delivery boy, or as the guy who fell asleep in math class. Either way, he has somehow affected your life and had truly been a friend to all. I still haven't found the perfect words to interpret what I've been feeling these past few days, but I have something I wrote in my journal last week that I would like to share with you all."

Zoey looked carefully into the crowd at her friends, who were all holding onto one another. Logan's hand rested on Michael's shoulder and Dana, Nicole, and Quinn held hands.

"As I look back on all these years--growing up, growing together, changing you, changing me...there are times when we dreamed together, when we laughed and cried together. As I look back on those moments, I realize how much you mean to me and how much I truly love you. The past may be gone forever...but whatever the future holds, our todays make the memories of tomorrow. So, Chase, it is with all my heart that I give you my love, hoping that you'll always carry it with you, for all we have meant to each other and for whatever the future may hold. I love you, Chase" she said, wiping the tears from here cheeks, "and I always will." She threw her white rose into the grave, watching it land softly on the cherry wood.

A week later, they were graduating. Zoey smiled despite the pain she was still feeling inside as she returned to her seat, diploma in hand. Every now and then Zoey would feel tears forming in her eyes, but after Chase's funeral, she had felt better. She had said what she had been feeling all along. Her feelings hadn't changed, so she didn't find it necessary to write something completely new. Zoey was smiling again, and it took more effort for her to laugh, but she could. Zoey resolved to never take anything for granted and live everyday to its fullest potential, a very positive outlook on life. But when she lay in her bed at night, especially last night, the last night she would spend at PCA, she wished they hadn't taken so long to fall in love. This was when her tears would come again. Zoey was taken from her thoughts by the sound of Quinn's voice finishing her valedictorian speech.

"All good things must come to an end, but I wouldn't want it to end with any other people or be at any other place. Congratulations class of 2009! We did it!"

Together, they stood up and threw their hats into the air, screaming. Zoey stood up quietly, keeping her hat on her head, and looked out onto the Pacific Ocean. She wondered what her life will be like now that she was leaving PCA for good. She wondered what experiences she would go through in college and what kind of job she would get. But what she really wondered was _'Will I ever love again?'_

One more chapter left! Thanks so much for reading! What Zoey said at the funeral was based off a quote by C.L Purdy, and I didn't make up what Quinn said, but I've heard that everywhere. I hope you liked this chapter…to let me know all you have to do is review!

dorkiss


	6. Coming Up to Join You

This is my last chapter! I put a lot of time and effort into this chapter, so I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it!

Tonight Will Be My Night

Chapter Six

"Brian?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you have money in your wallet for the pizza? I forgot to go to the bank today."

"Yeah…take some extra and buy that root beer they have, will you?"

"Sure."

Zoey Ashford walked into the dimly lit kitchen of their three bedroom house and took out a 20 from Brian's wallet. It was Friday night, pizza night, and she was just leaving the house to pick up their order.

"I'll be back!" she yelled as she left through the back door.

It's been thirteen years since Zoey and her friends graduated from PCA. Thirteen years since Chase got killed. Zoey still thinks about him everyday.

Zoey had grown into a wonderful woman. She was the editor of a national teen magazine and had a wonderful husband. She was happy, truly happy, with her life.

After Chase's death she had changed. For the first two years of college she struggled while trying to make friends and spent most of the time in her room. Zoey was afraid to let people, especially guys, into her life. She was afraid to love again. The friends that she did make worried about her. But they didn't know about her past, and she couldn't bring herself to tell them. All of them but one.

In an attempt to try and cheer her up they took her to a party. Zoey found it hard to be at the party. Too many alcohol induced memories flooded into her mid as they walked into the smoky house. She walked straight to the back and found herself opening a screen door onto the back porch. 'Fresh air,' she had told her roommate Paige, noticing her questioning look. As if by instinct she looked over to a group of boys who were sitting around a table, smoking and drinking beer. The memories rushed back into her mind hard and fast. Zoey couldn't take it anymore. Trying to keep the tears from falling, she ran back into the house past a confused Paige and straight into the kitchen. She quickly poured herself a cup of jungle juice and chugged it down, immediately refilling it again once she had finished and drinking her second cup at an abnormal speed. The people around her cheered.

Zoey didn't want to feel anything. She was tired of hurting all the time and drinking to escape from it seemed like the only possibility, the only thing she hadn't tried besides suicide, which she had thought about, but never seriously. She drank another cup.

An hour later she was in her building throwing up while Paige held back her hair and whipped the constant tears cascading down her face. Paige had helped a drunken Zoey across the railroad tracks and back onto campus and into the bathroom. Zoey wept like she had the morning after the accident a year and a half before. She cried Chase's name as she puked in the tiny stall. Paige wondered sympathetically who this boys was. She wondered if he had broken her heart.

Paige put Zoey into her bed positioning their garbage can next her bed, just in case. As she was putting her pajamas on she heard Zoey make a noise. She went to her side and brushed the hair from her face, asking her what was wrong.

"I'm sorry…I don't know why I did it. I just felt so crappy…" Zoey began to cry again. Paige sat her up and hugged her.

"You want to tell me what's wrong?" Zoey hadn't told anyone about Chase. But she trusted Paige. Zoey reached under her pillow and pulled out a purple envelope. Inside were pictures of her and Chase.

"That's Chase." It was the picture that she had kept on her nightstand, the one she saw before she went to sleep and the one she saw when she woke up.

"He was my best friend all through high school but he always liked me as more than a friend. And he was always really special to me, but I never realized that I…loved him until the last month of out senior year. And then one night we couldn't pretend we were _just _friends anymore. We were at a party and he kissed me. We spent every second of that weekend together. And then…he went out to return a movie or something and…"

Zoey found herself having trouble telling Paige. Sure, she had replayed the moment in her head thousands of time, but never had she talked about it out loud to anyone besides her friends from PCA.

"What? What happened?" Paige eyebrows furrowed with concern and she could almost feel her own eyes tearing up. She felt Zoey take in a deep breath.

"He was in a car accident, hit by a drunk driver. He died."

"Oh, Zoey…"

"It's been so hard without him," she cried, shamefully wiping the tears away, "But I've been doing okay. I haven't lost control, until tonight. Drinking tonight was really foolish of me. I told myself I would never do it again. Getting drunk can only hurt people."

After that night Zoey started to open herself up to other people. She was herself again. Five years later Zoey, Paige, and Nicole were roommates living in an apartment in San Francisco. Dana and Logan had married living comfortably in the suburbs of San the city and were expecting their first child. Michael worked at a high paying recording company and Quinn worked at the State hospital; she had dedicated her life to saving others. They were all out at a bar for the night when she met Brian, a tall business man with messy hair. Zoey and Brian talked for hours. She was surprised by the ease of their conversation and the way she didn't have to fake her laughter. She agreed to a date that weekend. She spent the remainder of the week thinking constantly about Brian. But as she stood in from of her mirror Saturday night dressed in an elegant short blue dress, memories of Chase suddenly interrupted her thoughts. It had been seven years. She sat softly on her bed and placed her hand on her heart, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. She would never forget Chase, he was her first love. But how long could she go on living without someone to love? That night Zoey opened her heart.

As they sat together at the restaurant, Zoey noticed just how similar Brian was to Chase. He didn't look anything like him, however. He had blonde hair and green eyes and had played soccer his entire life. They were similar because of the way he made her feel, like she was the reason his life was wonderful. She felt herself falling for Brian.

Zoey wondered if she was only trying to replace Chase with the next best thing. Maybe that was true. Maybe no one would ever compare to Chase, but she refused to spend the rest of her life alone. She didn't want to watch all her friends get married and get stuck as always being a bride's maid. Brian's similarities to Chase made Zoey comfortable. She knew he was worth holding onto.

Four years later in mid May Zoey stood in front of another mirror, this time in a flowing white dress. Her hair was pinned up in all the right places and her make-up was just right. Dana, Nicole, Quinn, and Paige all stood around her in their matching light green dresses holding white flowers wrapped in pale yellow ribbon in their hands. Zoey looked at herself in awe. She had imagined herself like this so many time, but it was never like the real thing. She pressed her lips tightly together and stared at herself, thinking. Her mind was filled with only one thing. One person.

"Chase would be happy for you, Zo." said Nicole, reading Zoey's blank stare.

"I know." She whispered. The four girls shared a hug before Zoey's dad walk in, offering her his arm.

Zoey and Brian have been happily married for two years now. They both work during the day, but they find time during the evening to just be together and not worry about the stress that their jobs can pile on. Recently, they've been talking about having children, something they both want very much. They've been true to their vows, and haven't kept a secret from one another. Except for one.

Zoey has never and doesn't plan on telling Brian about Chase. It's been hard keeping that decision and she often feels guilty, but the reason she hides Chase is because she still thinks about him everyday. She wonders what her life would be like if he hadn't died, if she was married him instead. It was a thought that had popped into her mind hundreds of times before, but know, as the thirteenth anniversary of his death nears, she finds herself thinking of the "what ifs" more frequently.

Some days, mainly on dreary mornings when she wakes up before the alarm and the air in their room is abnormally cold, she sneaks downstairs to the study. It's in the study where she keeps her secrets. The study is her at home office that Brian only enters when giving her a cup of coffee to help with the late nights. Pulling the blanket from the couch and wrapping it around her body, she sits at the desk and opens the second drawer on the left. Underneath all the papers and folders, inside an old pencil box, were the pictures of Chase, still in the purple envelope. Zoey would pull them out and look longingly at them, running her fingers over his face. Along with the pictures was a letter to Brian. She would joke with Nicole, the only person who knew about it, that it was her "wannabe suicide note". It was her confession letter, and she often wondered if he would actually get to read someday. In the dimly lit room she would let her mind wander. She wondered what Chase would look like now, and how much his personality would have changed. She wondered what he would have done with his life and if he would be happy. But more than anything she wondered how their relationship would have been like.

And in those mornings when her mind was still clear, fresh and open, she saw it. She saw them married (that "would have been" was always painfully obvious to her after his death.) She saw herself waking up to a groggy Chase in the mornings and being forced to make him coffee to bribe him out of bed. She saw them spending their weekends hiking through the hills of California and waking up early to watch the sunrise. They would be adventurous and outgoing. Somehow, she believed she would be happier. And that's why she hid Chase from Brian. She was ashamed.

She left for pizza that night, still thinking about Chase. She wished everyday that he was still alive, yet Brian was the most extraordinary person in her life. She had no idea what she would do without him. He had mended her heart, so that when she thought of Chase, the tears were few. And she loved him. She truly did. But there were times of weakness, like a former smoker who's surrounded by cigarette clouds in a bar. She would always need Chase.

Zoey reversed out her driveway. She turned on her radio on and heard the soft strumming of an acoustic guitar.

_Power of love is a curious thing  
Makes a one man weep, and another man sing  
Change a heart to a little white dove  
More than a feeling, it's the power of love _

It's tougher than diamonds, and it whips like cream  
Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream  
Make a bad one good, make a wrong one right  
Power of love will keeps you home at night

The light ahead turned from red to green, and Zoey pushed the gas with a little more force.

_Don't need money, don't take fame  
Don't need no credit card to ride this train  
It's strong and it's sudden and it's cruel sometimes  
But it might just save your life  
It's the power of love  
It's the power of love _

First time you feel it - it might make you sad  
Next time you feel it - it might make you mad  
But you'll be glad when you've found  
The power that makes the world go round

Without taking her eyes off the road she drove through the light, seeing the blinding white lights as they neared her window when it was too late. She didn't feel anything as the car got pushed into the barrier, crushing her up against the wall of rock, stealing her last breath.

_Don't need money, don't take fame  
Don't need no credit card to ride this train  
It's strong and it's sudden and it's cruel sometimes  
But it might just save your life _

They say that all in love is fair  
Yeah but you don't care  
But you know what to do  
When it gets hold of you  
And with a little help from above  
You feel the power of love  
The power of love

Zoey's life didn't flash before her eyes. Instead, she only saw Chase. She could feel him.

_Don't need money, don't take fame  
Don't need no credit card to ride this train  
It's tougher than diamonds and it's stronger than steel  
You won't feel nothing until you feel...  
You feel the power of love_

She suddenly felt as alive as the night Chase made love to her. She wasn't afraid. Tonight was the night that she would finally see him again.

Brian had gotten the call almost an hour after Zoey had left. He had been worrying the entire time, but he never thought that something bad had actually happened to her. Not Zoey. He had convinced himself that she had run into a friend at the restaurant. He almost didn't pick up the phone when it rang. He held the receiver in trembling hands. A deep voice spoke on the other end.

"Mr. Ashford? Your wife Zoey was hit by a drunk driver on Park Lane and Greenwood Avenue. She died on impact. I'm sorry."

Brian left the phone dangling off the side of the kitchen counter.

The funeral was beautiful. The sun shone so brightly and the smell of the ocean was wafted to the cemetery with the cool breeze of spring. It was the same place that so many of the same people had gathered thirteen years ago. Brian noticed the gravestone near where Zoey was being buried. Chase Matthews, March 19th 1991- June 7th 2009. _'What a shame,'_ thought Brian, _'to die at such a young age.'_

Brian stood with Paige and all of Zoey's high school friends at their cars after the funeral. They talked a lot about Zoey, how she still had so much of her life ahead of her, and how horrible that she would never live it.

"There was a kid buried near her who was only _18_ when he died. Can you imagine dying at such a young age?" said Brian, "That must be a terrible thing…It makes me grateful for the time I had with Zoey."

Brian mistook their silence for reflection instead of pain and guilt. He was one of the few people at the funeral who didn't know who Chase was.

As they said their good byes Nicole whispered to Brian, "You should go through some of Zoey's things. I'm sure she…left something for you." She left, leaving him confused.

That night Brian was sitting at the desk in Zoey's study. He knew that if she had put anything important for him it would be in here. For a while he didn't touch anything, but he kept thinking about what Nicole had said. He didn't understand and greatly wanted an answer. He let out a sigh an opened the first drawer. Pens, pencils, staples. Post-it's that hadn't been used. He was already becoming frustrated. How was he going to find something if he didn't even know what it was? How would he know?

He opened the next drawer. Papers and folders. Doubtfully he rummaged his hand through all the documents. He didn't expect to find anything, but underneath all the paper was a box. He lifted it out slowly. It was just a plain pencil box, but as Brian held it in his hands, a weird feeling ran through his body. This was it.

He opened the box to reveal a folded letter with his name written on the front in Zoey's handwriting, and a purple envelope. His heart beat quickly as he unfolded the letter.

_'My dear Brian,_

_I'm writing this to you at a time in my life when there are big changes ahead. We just moved into our house, settling in for a long and happy life together. But if you're reading this, then I'm most likely dead, at least, that's what the plan is. I can't possibly know what you're feeling having just found this, but I know exactly how you're feeling about my death. To lose the one person in your life you feel like you can never live without is a hard road to travel. I know. I experienced it myself. Yet here I am, the night before the rest of my life with you, with strength in my heart that you gave me so that I can tell you something how I know that horrible feeling. But before I get into that I want you to know that I was completely lost when you found me, in so many different senses, and you helped me to love again. I am eternally grateful. I'm sure you're confused. Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. So as you read this, I just want you to know that I love you._

_What I was saying before about knowing what it's like to have to live your life without the one person who you love more than anything in the world is true. His name was Chase Matthews, my best friends in high school, and I loved him in a way that I was blinded by it. I didn't realize just how much I actually loved him until we were seniors. He had loved me from the first time we met, and I had known that he would be an important person in my life. And I was right. He was, and even sometimes still, is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. _

_As our days at PCA began to come to an end, I realized that I couldn't be just friends with him anymore. We acted affectionately towards each other in a way that may not have seemed friendly to outsiders, but to say that we were merely friends would be a lie. All those wonderful feelings I felt whenever I was with him, the way he made my day better by just being a part if it, it was more than friendship. Maybe it was and always had been love, real love. But I doubt it. Whichever it was, I had loved Chase for long before I realized it. _

_I should have known by the way my feelings towards him changed. He wasn't just my best friend anymore; he was the only person who always understood me, who was always there for me. So one night, it just happened. We fell in love, and I knew from the moment he kissed me that we would always be together. But I was wrong. _

_Chase was hit by a drunk driver on June 7th, 2009, the same weekend that we had finally confessed our true feelings, and died. I will never forget it. I fainted after Michael told me the horrifying news, and when I woke up the next morning I didn't even remember it right away. But when I did, what I felt was more painful than anything I could have imagined. I didn't think I'd ever survive without him. One night in college I drank too much because I thought it would make me feel better, to escape the incessant heartache. It didn't._

_I never told you about Chase because I was ashamed. Not because of my irrational reactions afterwards, but because part of me still loves him, and I think it always will. I'm ashamed of that. I should be loving you and only you, but my heart will never let go of Chase. _

_In the purple envelope are pictures of me and Chase. I've kept them hidden from you even before we decided to get married, and still look at them often. I want you too look at them despite the fact that it may hurt. Chase was the only secret I ever kept and I want you to know about him._

_I hope you understand me more now. I love you so much, Brian. That will never change._

_Till death do us part,_

_Zoey'_

Brian was crying for the first time since Zoey's death. He was crying for many reasons and could not put his finger on them all, but one reason stood out from all the rest. Zoey and Chase were both killed by drunk drivers. He found that sadly remarkable. He also realized that Chase was the boy buried near her at the cemetery that had caught his eyes more than any other tomb stone. He understood why her family had insisted on burying her there. He opened the purple envelope and gently took out the pictures. He looked at them for a long time. They were mostly pictures of them holding each other, even one if Zoey asleep in Chase's lap. Brian didn't really know what to feel. But then he flipped to the last picture. It both caused him pain and soothed him.

It was clearly a snap shot of their first kiss. Smoke was twisted gracefully out of their parted lips in a beautiful way that momentarily caused Brian to forget to breathe. But the most captivating part of the picture was the way they were holding onto one another. Their bodies were pressed tightly together as their arms grasped firmly around each other in a way seeming to signify that they would forever hold onto one another. And in a way, they had.

The End

Thank you to all who read my story and especially to those who reviewed. You are amazing! The song I used is by The Early November and is called "Power of Love", originally by Huey Lewis and the News. The title and all thechapter titles are from the song "Halcyon Daze" by HiddenIn Plan Veiw.Please review!

dorkiss


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